Avoid Cliches like the Plague
O to be nineteen years old,
Next Life I will be a lovely slim Asian woman
or
How to Drive Your English Teacher Batshit
Use a lot of trite-and-true expressions.
If it sounds vaguely familiar, throw it in.
Its alright, you're teacher can handle it -
she may have to lay down
or have a cold beer
after reading a stack of papers --
bad wrting has that affect on her --
but she can deal.
Thats what they pay her the big bucks for.
Your probably going to pass this class
even though writting is not your favorit thing.
master of video game, iPod,
a tiny, complicated cell phone,
all things electric --
but mostly a stranger to those low-tech
blocks of paper
called books
and not to recognize
or have any interest in purging
the many clichés
sprinkled threwout your paper.
like flies in the gravy.
That was a simile, but don't worry.
it won't be on the quiz.
with a great metabolism
who tans
I will never get up at 5 AM to shovel snow
I will live in some place like Italy or France
where having all of August off is normal
and older women are still sexy
I will wear a bikini whenever possible
definitely pose for nude photos
and go skinny dipping, with and without friends,
in all seasons, day and night.
I will play at least one instrument
have a voice like k.d. Lang
and never, ever wear pantyhose
have all-season good hair
I will not waste myself, body or spirit,
on any unworthy man
I'll win the lottery
build a huge animal shelter
always know how to end a poem
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